The Benefits of Yoga for Adoptive Families

Welcome to my new blog series on yoga and mindfulness for adoptive families! I am very excited about venturing into this new area, as it brings together many of my personal and professional interests and experiences. I will be blogging about this topic for the foreseeable future, and each post will address one facet of the broader topic. So feel free to let me know if there are specific issues that you'd like me to address in my posts. I have also started to teach yoga workshops for adoptive families and develop a research-based yoga and mindfulness curriculum for adoptive families, so let me know if you have questions about those lines of work, too. Now onto my first post!

I am an adoptive parent to two awesome children who were born in China. Adoption can be a wonderful experience, but it is also fraught with loss. Children are available for adoption because they have lost their biological parents and, in some cases, subsquent sets of caretakers. Those adopted transracially and/or transnationally may experience further losses related to language, culture, birthcountry, and being racial minorities in their new families and communities. As a result of such losses, adoptive parents must learn strategies for helping their children transition into their new family, heal from the their early experiences, and integrate the many facets of their pre- and post-adoption experiences and identities. ​

One of the most important aspects of adoptive parenting is making ongoing efforts to foster bonding and attachment between you and your adopted child. It can take time for adopted children, even those adopted at young ages, to develop a loving and trusting relationship with their new parents, particularly if those parents do not look like them, speak a different language, live in a different country, and eat different foods. Moreover, many adopted children come to their new families with not only deep-seated fears related to abandonment and loss but also internal defense mechanisms to protect themselves against the pain of such​ abandonment and loss. One reason why adoption can be so traumatic for children is that it means leaving their most recent set of caretakers behind to join a family of strangers that, based on their past experience, may leave them at some point, too. On top of that, their fears and defense mechanisms may be exacerbated by prior experiences of physical and emotional neglect and sometimes even physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. ​

On the flip side, many adoptive parents (including yourself) may need time to connect with their new child. It can take awhile to forge a deep connection with a child who comes to you with previous life experiences,​ a well-defined personality, and possible resistance to your care and love. Similarly, the stress and fatigue that you may experience as you and your child adjust to your new family dynamic can make it difficult for you to stay emotionally present and open to connection with her. Your child's attachment struggles may also trigger your own unresolved attachment issues.

As part of your adoption parenting trainings, you may have learned a variety of therapuetic strategies for bonding and attaching with your child. Yoga, with its focus on physical postures, breathing, and mindfulness (awareness of the present moment with non-judgement and compassion) provide another set of strategies for fostering mutual connection. ​First, it provides a set time for you and your child to calm down and release stress together, which in itself may encourage connecting in an open and loving way. You can also approach your family yoga sessions as another set of opportunities to partake in traditional attachment activities such as making eye contact, mirroring, physical touch, and play. Finally, you can incorporate specific types of interactive yoga poses and activities into your sessions that provide embodied opportunities for building trust, intimacy, support, and cooperation.

It's also important to note that practicing yoga together may also address other issues your child has experienced and/or is currently experiencing due to his early life history. An emerging body of research demonstrates how yoga can promote emotional regulation and sensory integration; help to process trauma and loss; provide tools for coping with anxiety and other difficult emotions; increase focus and attention; and improve motor function, balance, coordination, and strength. Perhaps not surprisingly, many of these body-brain benefits also go hand-in-hand with healthy bonding and attachment.

So these are some of the potential benefits of yoga, especially family yoga, for adoptive parents and their children. In future posts, I will discuss specific strategies for practicing yoga (and mindfulness) with your children. Namaste!

Next Up: Developing a family yoga routine

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