Yoga For Adoptive Families: Let's Breathe! (Part Two)
- Barbara L. Ley
- Jun 12, 2015
- 5 min read
In part one of this post, I discussed the benefits of breathing for adopted children and their parents. I also provided a list of fun activities that can help children get to know and connect with their breath. As your child gets to know and grows comfortable with his breath, two foundational breathing practices that you may want to emphasize are nasal breathing (inhaling and exhaling through the nose) and belly breathing (bringing one's breath into the belly upon inhalation and releasing it upon exhalation). Both forms of breathing can help to calm and regulate the nervous system, especially when done together as "relaxed breathing."
Despite their positive benefits, nasal and belly breathing, especially when done together, can be difficult for some children. Mouth breathing (upon inhalation, exhalation, or both) or chest breathing is habitual for some kids, serving as their everyday form of breathing. Some kids even engage in "paradoxical" breathing, meaning that they suck their bellies in upon inhalation and release them upon exhalation. It's not always clear why children breathe in these ways, but several factors could be at play. First, allergies and/or respiratory illnesses can make nasal breathing difficult. Also, chronic stress, anxiety, early trauma can contribute to shallow chest breathing by speeding up the heart rate and causing children to carry tension in their chest and abdominal areas. Finally, these breathing tendencies may be learned from others, as many adults (including yourself, perhaps?) breath in these ways, too. When I get stressed and anxious, for example, I have to pay close attention to my breathing--otherwise, my breath gets stuck in my chest.
Below are some strategies for practicing nasal and breathing, both separately and together. If both are new and/or difficult for your child, I would suggest starting with nasal breathing, as it's calming and can help the body relax for belly breathing. I've also noticed that for many kids, nasal inhalation is easier to pick up than nasal exhalation. If this is true for your child, don't worry, as inhaling through one's nose and exhaling through one's mouth can still have a relaxing effect, especially when the exhale is done slowly. When you feel that your child is ready, you can try nasal exhalation at a later time.
To practice nasal breathing, give your child an object (or a set of objects to smell). Have him close his mouth, and ask him to breath the scent in and out of his nose quietly and slowly. You can smell the objects, too, and then discuss together what you both noticed about the scents.
To learn nasal exhalation in particular, have your child close his mouth and put his palm in front of his nose. Then ask him to slowly blow on his hand via his nose. You can also do this activity by having him blow other objects, such as feathers, tissues, etc.
If she is comfortable with doing so, encourage your child to close her eyes gently. It may help her learn nasal and belly breathing, as doing so will draw her attention away from her external surroundings and bring it to her embodied experience.
Encourage your child to soften his face, neck, and shoulders when practicing either or both components of relaxed breathing. Given that both types of breathing are new for some children, they sometimes tense up while practicing them by lifting their chins or shoulders or pursing their lips. Asking them to inhale and exhale slowly and quietly may also help him decrease bodily tension.
Experiment with body positions. Some kids, especially those with allergies or colds, benefit from practicing relaxed breathing in sitting position, as it keeps their nasal passages more open. Sitting up in a straight but relaxed manner may also increase their focus and attention while breathing. That said, other kids find it difficult to learn belly breathing in sitting position. Sometimes, this difficulty relates to weak core muscles; if the child is unable to sit up straight and/or exerts too much effort trying to do so, relaxing the belly enough for breathing can be difficult. In other cases, it relates to a common tendency of lifting one's torso up and down instead of moving the belly in out and in when breathing (This tendency can also exacerbate paradoxical breathing). For all of these reasons, lying down on his back may help to keep your child's torso in place and free up his abdominal muscles, making it easier for him to fill his belly up with air upon inhalation and release it upon exhalation.
Visual props may help your child understand the concept of belly breathing. For example, you can blow air
into a balloon and then empty it to demonstrate how the belly expands and contracts when breathing in and out. A Hoberman sphere (see photo), which I discuss in the "taking turns" section of this post, is another great prop for demonstrating belly breathing. Open the sphere upon inhalation, and close it upon exhalation. Children LOVE Hoberman spheres so encourage them to lead a breathing exercise with it.
Touch can also be used as a tool for practicing belly breathing. Your child can place his hands on his belly as he breaths in and out to feel the movements of his belly Placing a small bean bag or beanie baby animal on his belly can have same effect, too. If he is comfortable with this, you and your child could also place your hands on each other's bellies to feel their movements when breathing in and out.
Allow your child to assist you in your relaxed breathing. Sometimes, my three-year old son and I will play a game where we take turns pretending to be angry or upset, and we remind each other to "take your breaths." Sometimes when it's my turn to breathe, I'll even ask him to show me how to do it. And he does! He loves this game, it helps both of us practice our relaxed breathing, and it's a great way for us to connect with one another. Plus, allowing her to "teach" me gives her a sense of agency and efficacy, as well as reinforcing her relaxed breathing practice.
Final thoughts
Given the calming effects of relaxed breathing, the more your child and her body are familiar with it, the more effective it will be. Thus, as your child gets more comfortable with it (and with her breath in general), try practicing it in short sessions (even one to three breaths) throughout your day. You can incorporate it into yoga sessions, bedtime rituals, before meals, as part of transitions, or any other time that works for your family. And don't forget to do relaxed breathing with your child (or at other points in your day)! Its calming effects may benefit health and increase your ability to stay regulated for and connected with your child.
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