Yoga for Adoptive Families: Mindfulness for Children and Parents (Part Two)

In part one of this post, I discussed the practice of mindful breathing and how it can benefit your child. For mindful breathing, children turn their attention inward and simply notice their breath and how their body breathes. In part two of this post, I discuss two basic mindfulness practices--mindful listening and mindful seeing--that encourage your child to focus their attention outward.

Mindful Listening

I usually begin my yoga classes and private sessions with a mindful listening activity that encourages children to focus their attention on what sounds they hear or don't hear. After the listening part is over, we then discuss what they heard (or didn't hear) and how the listening experience made them feel. There are two main approaches to mindful listening that I use with children.

Ringing the chime: A fun way to practice mindful listening is with a chime (see photo) or Tibetan signing bowl. Ask your child to sit in an upright yet relaxed position and take a few mindful breaths. Then ring the chime or bell and ask her to listen to the sound until she can't hear it anymore. Once she can't hear the sound, she can quietly raise her

hand. It's often helpful to have your child close her eyes, but she can keep her eyes open, too. In fact, it can be fun to do the listening activity twice in a row, the first time with her eyes open and the second with her eyes closed. Afterwards, you can discuss how her eye position influenced her listening experience. Another options is to let your child ring the bell. Doing so gives her a way to participate in the experience, and holding the bell properly to maximize the sound can be a mindfulness activity in itself! Note: You can also download smartphone phone apps that make assorted chime and bowl sounds, with some of them mimicking the sounds well. On the one hand, apps are usually cheaper than actual chimes and bells, you can choose from various sounds, and you can listen to the bell wherever you go, as long as you have your phone with you. On the other hand, the app sounds, although impressive, are generally not as nuanced compared to those of an actual chime or bowl. Plus, the act of ringing a physical chime or bowl is often part of the fun mindfulness process. For these reasons, I recommend using an actual chime or bell when possible, and having an app as a back-up option if you'd like. But if an app is your only option, then definitely use it. It will still work for the activity.

Ambient sounds and silence: Another way to practice mindful listening is to have your child sit in an upright yet comfortable position, close her eyes, take a few relaxed breaths, and listen to the sounds around her. If applicable, you can encourage her to listen to the silence around her, too. After having your child listen to the sounds/silence around them, you can also ask her to listen to the sounds (or silence) in her body. Given that there is no built-in stopping point for this activity (e.g., there is no chime that will stop ringing), start with a 30 second session and work your way up as your child is ready for longer sessions. After the session is over, discuss with her what sounds she noticed (or not) and what it was like to listen in this way.

What's great about mindful listening activities, especially the bell, is that even children as young as two can focus their attention in this way for a few moments, if not longer. Many of them also enjoy listening mindfully, even if they can't always articulate how it makes them feel.

Mindful Seeing

Mindful seeing consists of focusing one's attention on an object and observing it for a certain length of time. In my kids yoga sessions and with my own children at home, I tend to rely on several types of mindful seeing activities.

Color-changing electric tea lights: Observing color-changing electric tea lights is my one of my favorite mindful

seeing activities, and kids love the lights, too. The lights, which are small enough to fit on the palm of a child's hand, slowly move through the colors of a rainbow

when turned on. Watching the colors change provides a fun and relaxing way to focus a child's attention. Have your child watch the colors change, and afterwards, discuss the colors that she noticed and how watching the colors made her feel. You can also ask her to watch the colors change and to identify the color that best represents a particular emotional quality (e.g., love, peace, calm, courage) of your/her choice. Then, talk about what color she chose and why. Although you can do this activity at any point throughout the day, I have found that some of my students find it relaxing to watch their light at bedtime. On occasion, my son uses it as a relaxing night light.

Sand timers: Plastic and timers, which come in various colors and time durations (usually one to five minutes), are also great object for mindful seeing. Make sure that the sand is at one end, turn the timer upside down, and ask them to watch the sand fall. Afterwards, you can discuss what aspect of the sand falling (e.g., the gradual decreasing of the sand at the top, the sand falling through the middle, and/or the growing pile of sand at the bottom) that she watched, what she noticed about it, and how watching the sand fall made her feel. If you work with the sand timer regularly, you can also have her focus on a particular area of the falling sand for each session and then talk about the different sand-watching experiences. The nice thing about using the timers is their built-in activity length. Consider starting with the shorter timers and working up to the longer ones as your child is ready.

Mindfulness jars: Mindfulness jars, which are similar to holiday glitter globes, are both easy to make and use. After filling a jar with the listed ingredients (usually water, glycerin, dish soap, glitter, sometimes glue (see this post for various recipes), put the lid on, shake the jar up, and have your child watch the glitter scramble around the jar before

slowly settling and falling to the bottom. Afterwards, you can ask your child what she noticed about the glitter falling and how watching it made her feel. From a mindfulness perspective, the jars actually work on two levels; not only does watching the glitter's movements help to focus one's attention but the glitter's movements from start to finish also provides a nice visual to help you child understand how practicing mindfulness can help their bodies, thoughts, and feelings settle.

For all of these mindful seeing activities, I usually place the objects on the ground and have the children lie on the their bellies, using their elbows and/or hands to help prop up their chest, head and/or chin (see above tea light photo). I like this position because the objects are at eye-level, and the children don't have to strain their necks and back by leaning forward to watch them. The position may also provide some gentle core strengthening, calming, and/or chest opening. Finally, it's more difficult for the children to touch the objects if they are using their hands and arms to help prop themselves up. For some kids, keeping their hands off the objects allows them to focus their visual attention better. If this position is difficult for your child and/or if you prefer to place the object on a higher surface (e.g., a table or desk), however, have your child sit upright in a chair, place her hands in a comfortable position, and watch the object.

Next Up: Part three of this post in which I discuss strategies for working with mindfulness in the context of children's special needs, trauma histories, and family connection.

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