Yoga For Adoptive Families: Let's Breathe! (Part Four)

So far, in this four-part post about breathing, I have discussed fun ways to help your child connect with their breathing, the importance of relaxed breathing, and strategies for conscious breathing during yoga poses. In this post's final part, I will discuss the use of breathing techniques to help your child manage emotional distress, dysregulation and more general emotional ups and downs. Such states can happen to all children, but adopted children may be especially prone to them due to their history of early trauma, neglect, and loss. Below, I describe several common emotional situations that your child can respond to with different types of breathing techniques. Given that connection and calm go together, I also encourage you to doing the breathing activities with your child. Doing so provides him with a reminder for how to do the activity (which he might need if he is feeling distressed) and it shows that you are there for him, want to be with him, and are not judging him. He can trust you and feel safe with your while taking your breaths, as it's a joint effort. Plus, the breathing may calm or regulate you, too, which will increase your ability to connect with him.

For managing stress, anxiety, anger, and other "big" emotions: Relaxed breathing can be a good calming technique for situations that increase dysregulation, bodily tension, emotional distress, and/or shallow breathing. In such moments, gently encourage your child to "take his breaths." If you child is able to do so, you might also encourage him to inhale slowly to a count of three or four and exhale for the same count (or, if possible, for even longer). This is because exhalations are especially relaxing to the body and nervous system. As much as possible, encourage belly breathing through whatever technique works best for your child (see above some ideas). Other calming breaths include buzzing bee breath and, for older children/teens, alternative nostril breathing. For bee breath, have your child sit up in straight and relaxed position. After inhaling deeply through his nose, have him exhale through his mouth by making a slowly "ZZZ" sound. For alternative nostril breathing, see the demo video (coming soon).

For increased power, courage, and confidence: Standing power breaths (demo video coming soon), which I learned from Craig Hanauer's Every Kids Yoga teacher training, are a great way to build confidence and inner strength, especially in response to situations that trigger fear or self doubt in your child. Power breaths can also improve core strength, leg strength, and motor planning skills. Plus, children in my yoga classes LOVE this breath. It is fun, active, and loud, and it can be worked into many different yoga storytelling scenarios (e.g., conquering our fear of climbing the big mountain, tapping into our superhero powers to save the day, facing our fears of the dragons that are sleeping in the cave). To do this pose, have your child stand up straight with his legs slightly wide apart. As he breaths in deeply through her nose, he should bend his elbows and raise his fists up toward the sides of his head. For exhalation, have him make a forceful "HUH" sound through his mouth while sharply bringing his elbows and fists back down to the sides of his torso and bending at his hips and knees into chair position. As much as possible, the "HUH" sound should come from his solar plexus (the area between his belly button and the bottom of his rib cage) and not from his throat. Doing so makes the post more grounding, as well as engages the core.

For increased energy: If you child feels tired, depressed, lethargic and/or would benefit from increased energy more generally, try lion's breath (demo video coming soon), bunny breath (demo video coming soon), or power breath. For lion’s breath, your child can either sit on the back of his heels with his torso in a straight but relaxed position or lie on his belly, using his elbows to help prop up his chest and head. After taking a deep inhale through his nose, he should stick his tongue out and exhale through his wide-open mouth with a loud “HAA!” sound. For bunny’s breath, have him sit in a straight but comfortable position and inhale quickly and sharply three times through his nose. Then ask him take a long exhale through her mouth or nose.

Final considerations

Even though many adoptive parents turn to yoga and breathing to help their child manage and regulate their emotions and attention, I put this section in fine part of this post last for two reasons. First and foremost, breathing exercises work best for these purposes when one practices them on a regular basis over time. The more one practices them, especially during periods of calm, the easier it is for a child to remember to breathe (and how to breathe) in moments of distress and dysregulation. Also, not only does the body "remember" more quickly and easily how to regulate in response to breathing techniques, but a regular breathing practice can, over time, decrease a child's baseline stress response and increase her general state of emotional balance and regulation.

Additionally, I put this section last because not all children respond the same way to breathing exercises, and the best way to learn which ones will work in different situations is through consistent exploration and practice. For example, some of the elementary-aged children in my yoga classes experience stress and anxiety related to school pressures, especially testing. Not surprisingly, many of these kids find that taking slow nasal breaths before tests helps calm them down. One of my students, however, told me that power breaths worked best for her, as the confidence she received from them alleviated her stress more than calming breaths did. Interestingly, she also found that she didn't have to stand up and do the full-on breath, complete with the arms movements and loud "HUH!," to receive their confidence-boosting and calming effects. (She would have felt self-conscious doing the full breath in front of her classmates). Rather, she just sat at her desk, bent her elbows slightly while making fists, took a quiet deep breath in, and exhaled quietly yet forcefully through her mouth. Because she had done regular power breaths enough times in yoga class and at home, her body remembered the visceral feeling of confidence that she received from them while doing the modified version at school. As with every yoga topic I have covered so far on my blog, the main take-away lesson is to not force your child to practice yoga in a particular way and to encourage them to discover what works best for them.

Next up: Basic mindfulness practices for children and their families.

#kidsyoga #familyyoga #trauma #mindfulness #adoption